Thursday, June 16, 2011

Frustration

I wrote a devo post a couple days ago, and I thought it was published... but now it is not here. And I don't have time to re-write it, so I'll just be back with a new one next week. :(

Right now, I am sitting in my apartment's kitchen, waiting for a phone call. There are so many other things I need to be doing, like packing up my car for instance! Or in the school C-Lab to finish some projects before I move home. But no, I am waiting. If the guy doesn't call soon I'll finish up my chores here, call the company and then leave for school.

But I am just so tired. I don't know how some people do it. Take my roommate, for instance. She is training to become a nurse, and somehow the vast majority of the time she can go to bed at one in the morning and wake up at six and go! Yet I cannot do that at all.

Last night I worked on stuff until 2:30 am, then I crashed. My body woke me up at 6, then I crashed again. My alarm was set for 8:30... yeah I turned that off too quick to even really wake up. Thankfully my phone went off again at 10:15. It still took me awhile to get moving, but now I at least feel capable of driving for five hours later today. Believe me, at 10:15 there was no way I could have safely made it home. I'm worried I might get that way again, which if I can't drive home today than I will get stuck in major traffic. I'm talking gridlock for probably an hour or more.

Though of course, if this phone call doesn't come, then I might not be able to leave today no matter what I do.

Ironic humor; I turn 22 tomorrow. By any standards that is the age where I should be a responsible adult. I should have been on top of all this crap I have been going through and gotten to the point where tomorrow I could have not even worried about anything! Instead it feels like my life is falling apart and money is an issue and I am a horrible failure.

As stressful as moving is right now, I think it's good that I am moving home. Maybe I need to take a break from feeling like a responsible adult and get some help from my parents. At least until I can dig myself out of the mess I have made. Sure, it was an unintentional mess, the life lessons I am learning should have been learned earlier.

P.s, Thank God that Jesus saves.

The devo pic that disappeared.
 Oh, and I am still waiting on that phone call...

1 comment:

  1. Did you ever get your phone call? Love that picture. I don't think its odd not to be able to stay up and get up early--I can't do that at all and never have been able. And life is more complicated, not less, as an adult. Hugs! You can do it!

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