Sunday, October 4, 2009

Decisions and Warfare.

Wow. I cannot believe we are four days into October already. Where did the time go?! I haven't forgotten about this blog at all, but I haven't been able to update in forever because of a lot of school work and social responsibilities. :( But I have been working on the things on my list. And so I get to check off another major number on it!

I picked where I want to go!!!

Pretty much since last year when I first talked to Che' about where I could go and she mentioned India I wanted to go there. I talked to my parents about it, prayed about it, talked to a lot of good friends about it. I knew my parents were against me going there, but I was convinced that's where God wants me. In the very beginning of September I had my prayer group at school pray that God would change my parent's hearts and fully support my semester in India. After talking again to my parents about two weeks ago my dad was still very against my internship taking place in India, but my mom seemed like she was quickly changing her mind.

Well, I have to say, I did not pick India. Right now, I am hoping to go to Prague. I know I mentioned Prague in my last post, but I wasn't very serious about it at all. But over all, everything started pointing to Prague. It's definitely the best career move, the language I could pick up quicker, and quite frankly it would be a lot easier living in Prague for four months than India. Even though my heart still wants to go to India, I'm at peace with this decision.

What has made me at peace with this decision strangely has severely affected my relationship with God. Over the summer and earlier this year I was running towards God and growing spiritually like I never have before. But the day after I made my choice to go to Prague public, I've been under Spiritual attack. If you aren't a Christian and are reading this, then you probably don't understand what I've been going through. But if you have been saved by Jesus Christ, this probably doesn't surprise you at all. Instead of continuing to grow like I was, for the past week and a half I have been falling. I know this is getting lengthy so I won't go into much detail, but I was suddenly faced with temptations from my past I thought I had gotten over. And also let myself get distracted way to much by a guy I think is cute. I know he is not the guy I will get married to, (I haven't met him yet) but instead of focusing on the bigger picture of God's plan, I've been trying to create my own. Things have gotten so bad that Friday I got really depressed and called home. I talked to my dad for a while and he cheered me up. But I still needed some spiritual advice. I remembered who I consider my first accountability partner, she goes to a school in MD. I call her pie-head. I ended up texting her for a while and she could totally relate to what I was going through. While I still feel under attack, I'm looking forward to the challenge. It's going to be tough, but I know God's got my back and this is where He wants me to go. If Satan is going through this much trouble to mess me up, I know that some big things are going to be happening next semester.

Last thing I have to add: I have an internship meeting tomorrow! Once I go to this meeting I can then fill out the paperwork to get my internship approved and bump it up from 3 to 6 credits. Yay!